Navigating life post-divorce can be a complex journey, especially when children and new relationships are involved. Recently, my ex-husband’s girlfriend reached out to me with a question that left me stunned and taught me a valuable lesson about self-love and boundaries. Here’s the story of how one text changed my perspective on my past marriage and my future.

It’s been five years since my ex-husband, Ben, and I divorced. We share two wonderful kids and have managed to maintain a friendly co-parenting relationship. Our split wasn’t messy; we just wanted different things out of life.

Ben and I co-parent effectively and have kept things amicable for the sake of our children. Our ability to remain friends often surprises people, but it’s been crucial for our kids’ well-being.

Ben started seeing a new woman, Lisa, about four months ago. He told me about her as soon as their relationship became serious, keeping with our agreement to be transparent for the kids.

Yesterday was our eldest’s 16th birthday, and Ben asked if he could bring Lisa to the family dinner. While I would have preferred to meet her one-on-one first, I agreed to avoid drama.

When I met Lisa, she was friendly and eager to make a good impression. She immediately engaged in conversation about the kids and their activities, showing genuine interest.

Throughout the evening, I noticed how attentive Ben was to Lisa. It was sweet but also unsettling, as I never saw that side of him during our marriage. I chalked it up to new relationship energy.

Halfway through dinner, my eldest handed me a birthday card from Ben. I was shocked because Ben never remembered birthdays or anniversaries during our marriage.

Lisa saw my surprise and gave me a funny look. I assumed she had prompted Ben to get the card, but her expression suggested there was more to it.

@etherstoriesMy ex-husband’s new wife bullied our daughter and called me a sneaky b-word who was bitter about her affair with my ex-husband, so I demanded more custody of our daughter. Now, my ex is divorcing her, and my daughter is happier than ever. Plus three updates. u/Parking_Mission_7544.♬ original sound – Ether Stories

Later that night, I received a text from an unknown number. It was Lisa. She asked, “Does Ben ever improve when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries? I don’t want to make a big deal out of it if it’s something that won’t change.”

Her question left me feeling a mix of emotions. Part of me wanted to warn her, but another part felt it wasn’t my place to interfere. After a moment, I replied, “Honestly, he’s my ex for a reason. I can’t say if he’ll change. It’s something you’ll have to figure out together. Lovely meeting you, though.”

Ben’s forgetfulness with special occasions was something I had grown accustomed to during our 13 years of marriage. It didn’t bother me at first, but over time, it became a source of disappointment.Lisa’s question made me realize that I had accepted Ben’s behavior without expecting more. It highlighted my journey of self-love and the importance of setting boundaries

Months later, Ben called me, frustrated. He said Lisa had broken up with him because he kept forgetting important dates, despite her repeatedly expressing their importance.

I gently reminded Ben that while it didn’t matter to him, it mattered to Lisa. I suggested that meeting people halfway is crucial in any relationship.

A few days after Ben’s call, I ran into Lisa at the grocery store. She looked tired but managed a smile. We exchanged pleasantries, and she admitted she broke up with Ben because she felt unimportant.

I reassured her that she deserved someone who valued her efforts. I shared my experience and emphasized the importance of self-worth.

That evening, I talked to my kids about their dad, emphasizing that while he had his flaws, he loved them deeply. We shared stories and laughed about his forgetfulness.

Reflecting on everything, I felt a deep sense of peace. I had moved on from the hurt and disappointment and was ready to embrace whatever the future held.

This unexpected question from my ex-husband’s girlfriend opened my eyes to the importance of self-love and setting boundaries. It taught me that while some people may never change, it’s crucial to know your worth and not settle for less. This experience reminded me to cherish the love and joy in my life and to continue growing and moving forward with a sense of peace and acceptance.